My Resilience Theme Song for 2012

Sometimes life throws huge hurdles at us but true resilience is when we stand up after being knocked down, ‘rising from the ground like a skyscraper’. There is no person or situation that can destroy us, only we allow ourselves to be destroyed. From every difficult situation, if there is still breath in our lungs, we have the opportunity to rise from the ashes of the moment and rebuild our lives.

History has shown us so many wonderful role models with regards to this…I think immediately of Corrie Ten Boom who visited those who tortured her and gave them her forgiveness and Dr Victor Frankl, who said that he was more free than his captors.

When we embrace the freedom that comes from our belief in ourselves and our connection with God and others, then we are able to shake off the pain, the hardship and the sorrow that comes from difficult circumstances and to embrace the fullness of life.

This does not mean that we no longer feel pain or are able to express our grief, but our pain and our grief are no longer overwhelming.

Enjoy the freedom that comes from knowing that in every situation you are enough.

How Would It Be?

Laptop in waterIf you’re struggling with motivation, swimming in a sea of work or opportunities, sometimes it’s because we lose track of the end point. Focus is a brilliant part of keeping energised.

Think about the sun. When it is shining broadly, it graces everything with a warm glow. But when you shine it through a magnifying glass, suddenly the intensity has the power to burn. Focus…is ENERGISING.

So to help you keep your focus and not be side tracked by the obstacles life throws at us to test our vision, a great question my friend always poses to me when I want to start complaining about something is, “How would it be if…” This then places whatever my issue is in that moment into the positive of the issue being solved and I can work my way backwards because I have the hope of the issue being able to be resolved. Immediately the issue loses it’s debilitating power because suddenly possibilities open up.

I think Dr Jim Rohn said it like this, “Why not you? Why not now? Why do good things have to happen to other people?” I love this quote as it DEEPLY impacted me at a time when I had little hope for the future. Why can’t it be us who get what we want in life?

If you can imagine yourself in the freedom that comes from a resolved issue and imagine how you would be feeling and acting in that state, it can be quite invigorating and motivating.

Happy days ahead for all of us!

Operation Resilience…Do you have a nugget of life to share with others?

Life is not defined by the events that shape us but by our response to those events.

Our destiny lies beyond the barrages and the wreckage of our errant decisions; our unwise steps that have faltered.

Who we are is defined by our courage, our boldness, our intentions and these are all things of which we have total control.  We cannot control the life’s vehicle that may plough us down, but we certainly can control whether we are determined to walk again.  And this underlying driving force that pushes us to rebound is called resilience.

Today is Operation Resilience…the sowing of a seed of wisdom to reap a harvest of RESILIENCE.

So what is your seed of wisdom that you can sow today?  What is the spark of life that you breathe into another’s spirit to help them to rise from the ashes of their life?

What little nugget of gold can you invest in another to help them to rebound.  To inspire them to take a deep breath of refreshing life and move forward?

What little act of kindness can you do for another human being today to let them know how important they really are? Resilience

Please post your nugget of wisdom here.

3 Quick Tips To Keeping Inspired and Motivated

We are all born different, so what I am about to share may or may not work for you because there is not just one set of rules for all of humanity.

For me, motivation comes pretty easily.  I spring out of bed, happy to embrace the day and ready to take on a new challenge.  That’s my persona and probably 80% of the time it is no effort for me to get started on work.

However, it is that 20% of the time that I have to work harder at keeping up my motivation.  And this is where I have learned some simple keys that work for me and that I want to share with you.

ThinkingKey 1:  ”Work never killed you…it’s just the thought of it that did.”

I remember my mother used to say this to me as a young person.  She’d ask me to do something for her and I’d be dragging my feet and she’d just nail the problem…my stinking thinking.  Doing the dishes and washing clothes were always the killers.  It would take me a long time to get motivated but once I was there and got started I actually didn’t mind the work and there was a deep sense of satisfaction that came from seeing the kitchen shining and the clothes neatly folded and packed away in my drawers!

So our first battleground is in the mind.  Change the way we think about what it is that we need to do and it will become easier.

 

Working on LaptopKey 2:  Just do it – adopt a Nike attitude to life!

Sometimes tasks just niggle at you and niggle at you and like the unwanted food on your plate, they get pushed around the plate, moving aside to accommodate more interesting projects, but the truth is that the whole time those undone tasks are niggling away at your brain and causing you to worry and to be anxious because you know that your procrastination is going to catch up with you.

So in these moments when I can see that I am pushing a task around my desk but not actually getting on with it, I actually say out loud to myself, “Just do it, Hayley!”  And I deliberately (and I mean deliberately) make myself get started on it.  9 times out of 10 what I was worred about and the reason why I didn’t want to do it was because it was slightly complicated and I knew I’d have to use my brain to solve the problem. The truth is that when you actually get down to it, they are not as complicated as previously assumed and the end result is the job is done and off your conscience and you can’t put a price on the feeling of a clear conscience.

 

Team WorkKey 3:   Partner with others

I cannot stress enough how valuable it is to have other people that you can partner with to keep up your motivation in your business.  I have many people in my life that I work with that help me to keep motivated and on track and they really are invaluable.

So if you feel like something is a bit hard and you don’t really know where to start or just can’t get over that first hump, grab a business friend or business mentor and work on it together.  There is definitely strength in a group and a good support group can really not only help you to keep up your motivation but really propel you forward.  This was the whole motivation behind creating the Empowered Entrepreneur‘s group that I run on Facebook.  It’s a closed group that has 20 entrepreneurs who are committed to supporting each other and in doing that they are sharing information, providing online support and helping each other to keep motivated and inspired.  It really does work a treat.

 

So there are three keys to keeping up your motivation.  I’d love to hear your comments, so please post below and if you could share this article with your friends that will help them also.

I also offer business mentoring services if you feel like you need someone to be accountable with and to get inspired by.  Just fill in my email opt-in on the home page to make the most of a free 30 minute introductory consultation with me.

 

 

Winning, Losing and Choosing

In life there are the natural winners, the natural losers and then there are the choosers…those who choose to overcome their limitations and move from loser to winner, regardless of how they may seem to be losing at the moment, and then those who choose to lose regardless of how they could easily be winning…

Which are you today?

A winner – by chance, you were made that way, or by choice, you choose to win; or a loser by chance, you just simply can’t; or are you a choose-to-lose person?  Because regardless of how you think you can’t, you always have the opportunity to choose to change the way you think.

You can be a world changer!

When I was in High School I thought I was the biggest loser because I just felt so rejected.  Truth is, I was mostly rejected by myself because I suffered from “comparison syndrome”.

Looking back I can see that I was definitely an individual personality, with a very gregarious nature.  Most of the teachers seemed to like me, although I did have some social problems due to over-utilised and yet under-developed leadership skills (another way to say I was a bit bossy)! However, I did make a significant wave in the school with my ideas.  For example, when I was in Year 10 I refused to wear the more casual school uniform that had been adopted.  We were allowed to wear corduroy pants or slacks and a white shirt and school jumper, however I just had to be different.  I went to the local op shop and purchased the old box pleat school uniform including tunic, tie and blazer and started to wear that with tights just to be different.  Well you know what happened?  Within a very short time the whole school was copying me.  And this showed me a very clear principle of life – if you are willing to stand out, eventually you will be emulated, because like sheep people will follow the strongest lead.

So I guess my challenge to you is, do you want to be a world changer?  If so, start leading where you are!  Do something that you’d like others to emulate.

I had lots of friends, but I chose to spend my time in endless activity to numb my internal struggle.  I was the captain of the softball team, the secretary of the student council, on the debate team, the lead or support actress for the school musicals.  I was selected to represent the school in various activities, including a state-wide production of Pirates of Penzance in Sydney and performed at the Opera House.   I competed in Eistedfods and often won prizes.  I also won the Miss Schoolgirl of the local show –  yet, with all this success, I still felt rejected.

It wasn’t til many years later when I was working at the college that I later studied dance at that I learned from one of the girls  who enroled who I had gone to school with that she viewed me as her hero.  I had no idea that I was making any significant impact on anyone around me, yet here was the girl that played piano while I sang all those years ago saying that to me.  It was immensely humbling.

If you have been following me on Twitter you will know that my username is @womencan.  I deliberately chose this name because it contains within it a positive message for all women.  I have deliberately created the “You Can Philosophy” because I want people worldwide to be empowered.  These were all conscious decisions on my part and you can consciously choose to make your life a positive imprint as well.

Tonight I went to a party and an old friend came up to me and said, “You are so inspirational. Keep posting your positive messages cause you are my positivity guru.  I read all your stuff and it really lifts me.”  I was flabbergasted.  Firstly because I just do what I do because it’s part of me and just has to find a way out, and secondly because I realised, once again, that people watch and follow a strong lead.  You just never know who you are leading.  Like the saying says, “Lead, follor or get out of the way!”

You can be one of the followers or one of the leaders. There is no shame in either, but if you decide to lead, make sure you are leading people towards something beneficial.  Lead them in the same way that you would want to be lead.

Have a think about what small or large thing you could do today to start a positive wave of action around the globe.  If I can, anyone can!

Don’t worry if you don’t know why!

In my life there have been many things that I have done, often at my own expense, that when questioned by others I have just had to say, “I don’t know why, I just know I need to do this.”

The beauty is that further along the pathway it becomes completely evident to me why I needed to do them as they were the stepping stones in the pathway that has led me to be the person that I am today, doing the things that I am doing.

What this has taught me is to value every experience, sucking the marrow out of life and being grateful for the many wonderful opportunities that have graced my life.

I just wanted to encourage you that sometimes what on the surface looks like it has nothing to offer you in the way of tangible benefits, yet you feel drawn to the opportunity, that it may have hidden treasure and that those around you may question you and you may not have an answer to give them immmediately.

If I stopped writing back when the first person questioned my ability or my use of my time I would never be feature writing for a national magazine now. And if I had questioned writing for that magazine for no payment immediately, I would never have gotten the opportunity to get my name known in the writing world. And if I had never started the Pearls Women’s Magazine project, I would never have gotten my foot in the door at the National Women’s Magazine. And if I’d listened to those that were questioning the value of giving my time to develop Pearls, all those people who read the magazine and their lives were changed in some positive way would never have happened.

Sometimes risks are essential if we want to find the hidden treasure.

I think you get my picture. You just never know when what you are doing has a positive spin off for others or for your own destiny, even if it is painful and a negative experience at the time.

There is a verse in the Bible that I love and brings me comfort. It says, “All things work together for the good…”

You may not understand which thread you are sewing with at this time in your life, but you are creating a rich tapestry and one day you will get to see it from the top side down, not just the underside up. Keep sewing!